Friday, November 02, 2007

Biopsy Results

So, the Biopsy results are in and unfortunately the news isn’t as good as I was anticipating from the Doctor’s initial observations. Apparently I have pre-cancer/Dysplasia (AGAIN). The news isn’t awful, considering the 4 years of neglect… Meaning, I’m trying to be optimistic about the fact that I caught it before it became an invasive cancer, instead of dwelling on the fact that it is the first stage of cancer. Right now it is still treatable. While I am relieved that it is in the early stages, I’m still feeling stressed and anxious. I’m scheduled for a LEEP (Loop Electrosurgical Excision Procedure) in a few weeks. I hate anything related to getting back in the stirrups! So there will be no happy dance after all. And because it is in my nature to obsess, I found myself needing to paint something. What came out of me were these 4 abstract pieces based on microscopic views of the Cervical Cancer virus:

When I was first thinking about painting these I had dramatic titles in mind like “Portrait of a Killer”, “Painting the Murderer”, “Inner Rot” or “The Death Within”… but as the paintings started to evolve, the visual rendering of the Cervical Cancer virus didn’t seem nearly as scary as the reality. In fact, now that the paintings are finished, I kind of think they are earthy and pretty. Maybe I’m just totally warped from all the Beautiful Death conceptualizing from last fall? Whatever the case, I doubt there is a big market for Cervical Cancer Abstracts anyway, so I’ll stop my wallowing and get back to the other project I’ve been working on for the past month. I’ll let you know more about that in the near future.


Miachelle said...

I like these paintings.

Polka Dot Creations said...

It's great that you have a creative outlet to help you get through trying times like this. I'm sorry the news wasn't better.